I'm Not That Crazy
by Ray Lewis
Summary: Redd finally screws over the wrong people. One-shot. enjoy C:


I'm Not That Crazy

Redd was, in polite terms, a con man. He sold "discount" items out of a tent every Friday for the small town of Jericho. His biggest customers were a group of young adults who were particularly...different. With that it mind, Redd had no problem with adding them as "family". He said he was selling trust, but in all reality, it was quite the opposite.

"Whoa, hold on there. You think that I'll just hand these deals out to anyone? C'mon, I'm not that CRAAZZZYY!" Redd shouted as someone tried to enter his tent.

"So wadda ya say when I say...'When the cats are out?'"

"The mice shop." responded the soft, almost sweet sounding voice.

"Cousin Jerrika! How are you?" Redd eagerly shouted as he threw the tent flap back.

"Everything's good, Dante and Mordecai got an old arcade machine from Apollo and have been tinkering with it non-stop, and Yvette has just been in her room, doing absolutely nothing." Jerrika stated, taking off her hat. Her magnificent red hair came down in a braid.

"Hehehe, well that sure is interesting... say now, I have this Common Painting here, on sale, that I want to ensure goes to a good home." Redd said, the look of scheme all over his face.

"Well why not donate it to the museum on the other side of town?" Jerrika shrugged, intentional pushing his buttons.

"H-hey now, I'm not that CRRAZZYY!" He pleaded.

"I'm screwing with you Redd." Jerrika said, examining the painting up close. Beads of sweat began to form on his brow.

_Aw man is she really going to buy this? If she did, it'd be my biggest con yet! 5,000 Bells for a painting that cost me 200! _Redd thought as his mind raced.

"I-Its 5,000 Bells." He squeaked.

Jerrika looked at him funny, then shrugged again. She threw him an unusually heavy bag of Bells and asked him to wrap it up. Redd hurriedly prepped it for its journey.

Jerrika walked into the museum with the painting in hand. It had stopped raining, and the sun was even shining, for once.

"Hey Blathers, can you check this out for me?" She called as she handed him the painting.

"Hoo, my, oh yes... I am quite afraid to tell you this, but this is counterfeit. I won't ask where you got this, but I cannot accept this." Blathers sorrowfully proclaimed.

"Figures," She said,"I've been in the counterfeiting business, I could spot a fake a mile away." She added. As she turned to leave the museum, Blathers was relived. Quite frankly, she scared him. Everyone in that house did.

The House was composed of five rooms and was shared by four people. Mordecai was the first to move in and quickly paid off all the mortgages. About a week later, Jerrika arrived. About a day after that, Dante came with Yvette in tow. They rarely spoke to any of the other animals, but they had pumped a lot of money into the local economy, and they have made rather impressive donations to the museum.

"Redd finally did it." Jerrika stated as she opened the door to the common room.

"Really now, I never would have thought he'd have the balls to do such a thing." Mordecai proclaimed, spiking up his blue hair on the couch in front of the TV.

"Hm, I always knew he'd be to stupid to know who we were." Dante chimed in, looking up from the arcade machine. His green hair was matted to his forehead.

" Well this simply will not do." Mordecai stated as he got up from the couch. He walked over to the cabinet and flung the doors open. He pulled out a gas mask and threw it to Dante, who was reaching under the floorboards for some fireworks he still had stashed away from the previous 4th of July. Mordecai grabbed his shovel as the trio went for the door.

"Where are you guys going?" Came a quiet voice. Yvette stood behind them, golden axe in had, wanting adventure. She brushed her oddly white hair away from her face.

"We're going fox hunting, want to come?" Jerrika asked. Yvette simply nodded.

"4,998... 4,999... 5000!" Redd cheerfully shouted as he counted the bells on the ground.

"Oh man, what a bunch of id-" He started, but someone entering the tent interrupted him. He recognized Mordecai's face under the dark hood.

"Oh, h-hello cousin, what brings you over here?" Redd stammered.

"I'd like to talk about a return." Mordecai said darkly, removing his hood.

"Sorry, cousin, you're all out of like. I don't do returns." Redd said, holding back a laugh, thinking his plan had succeeded.

Mordecai simply nodded his head and walked out. As soon as the tent flap closed, he let out a stream of laughter.

"Wahahaha, I cannot believe that they thought I'd refund that painting!" He cried. He started to smell something odd.

Outside, Dante was shooting Roman Candles at the tent. Some of the balls of fire stuck, and started engulfing the tent in flames. Hurriedly, Redd crawled out from under the tent flap and looked up at the four standing above him. Then, he remembered a crucial bit of information that might have saved him.

"Please, please forgive me!" Redd pleaded.

"Sorry, but I'm not that crazy." Mordecai said, motioning Yvette to move forward. Redd cursed not remembering the Police Report earlier. As the tent burned to the ground, Mordecai looked over to Jerrika.

"Did he really buy the counterfeit bells?" Mordecai asked.

"Yeah, maybe we were doing him a favor." She said.

"Well, whether we did or not doesn't seem to effect the situation. Let's get out of here before Cooper shows up." Dante interrupted. They all went back to the house, except for Yvette, who had found a new "toy".


End file.
